HORRIFIC ASSAULT: PASTOR WADEN ASSAULTS MCDONALD'S EMPLOYEE

In a shocking turn of events, local pastor Waden was observed attacking a McDonald's employee during peak hours yesterday afternoon. Eyewitnesses report that the altercation began when Waden complained loudly about his order. The McDonald's employee, who remains unnamed, apologized for the inconvenience, but Waden launched into a tirade. Witnesses